Sloooooow

Now that the end of the school year is approaching (last day w/ kids 6/18) I feel like time has stopped all together! The year flew by in a heartbeat, but now that I can see the finish line, I feel like I am NEVER going to get there!

On the TTC front...I am just as confused as ever! I'm on CD 9, lots of ewcm, and DH has had no problem gettin' busy...but I still feel like I'm doing something wrong!? Am I crazy...perhaps! This is only month 2, and I feel the process consuming my life entirely. I promised myself that I would not let it get out of hand, or feel bad if it didn't work right away...but that definitely didn't happen! Poor DH had to deal with me crying at the end of cycle 1! Ugh!!!

I guess my main concern is that we might not be able to conceive naturally. I just can't imagine going through this for months and months! I'm not sure if I am that strong to be able to handle it. My SIL and DH's brother tried for almost 2 years, and eventually conceived through IVF. She later told me that after all the testing was done, it was my BIL that was "the problem" (her words, not mine). So now I have this in my head...is that a genetic thing? Could DH also have problems? Ack!

I just want to let nature takes it course. If it's meant to be...and yadda yadda yadda...but I am WAY to controlling to just surrender myself to that! I promise to try...

<3 K