Phew!

So another week begins...fortunately, this week ends with the finish of my 6th year of teaching! My how the time flies...

I am so happy to be almost done, with a relatively "calm" summer ahead of me! This weekend was completely mad, considering I took a 6-hour exam and hosted DH's friends from OOT. The test was ok...I think I did well, yet I am just now regaining feeling in my right hand! It was 6 hours of writing! Bleck! Who does that!? I am hoping to become an administrator in the next few years, so getting that test out of the way will hopefully be worth it! :-)

DH's friends were fine. A bit annoying at times, but honestly nice people. I just was not in the mood to play hostess upon returning home from my test! Fortunately I was able to drink away my sorrows that night at the bar!

As for cycle #2...your guess is as good as mine! I am on CD 13 w/ very fertile CM...and totally wonky temps...so who knows! I am not allowing myself to get my hopes up or get frustrated this cycle! #1 was insane, and basically the month of May was ruined by my irratic emotions...that will not happen this month! It takes couples months to years to conceive and I REFUSE to get upset during month 2!!!! Stupid!

Not sure if have any readers of this silly thing...but man does it feel nice to release some of what's in my head! DH can only take so much...especially since he's getting jumped yet again tonight! ;-)

<3 K

Sloooooow

Now that the end of the school year is approaching (last day w/ kids 6/18) I feel like time has stopped all together! The year flew by in a heartbeat, but now that I can see the finish line, I feel like I am NEVER going to get there!

On the TTC front...I am just as confused as ever! I'm on CD 9, lots of ewcm, and DH has had no problem gettin' busy...but I still feel like I'm doing something wrong!? Am I crazy...perhaps! This is only month 2, and I feel the process consuming my life entirely. I promised myself that I would not let it get out of hand, or feel bad if it didn't work right away...but that definitely didn't happen! Poor DH had to deal with me crying at the end of cycle 1! Ugh!!!

I guess my main concern is that we might not be able to conceive naturally. I just can't imagine going through this for months and months! I'm not sure if I am that strong to be able to handle it. My SIL and DH's brother tried for almost 2 years, and eventually conceived through IVF. She later told me that after all the testing was done, it was my BIL that was "the problem" (her words, not mine). So now I have this in my head...is that a genetic thing? Could DH also have problems? Ack!

I just want to let nature takes it course. If it's meant to be...and yadda yadda yadda...but I am WAY to controlling to just surrender myself to that! I promise to try...

<3 K

The beginning

So, this is our second month TTC, and so far I have learned that I apparently was absent that day in health when they talked about the reproductive system! :-P I never new how much thought and careful timing would be required to create a life! Sure, this is rather naive of me, but I am trying to be honest with myself through this process.

This month I have begun charting on fertility friend to try to get a grip on what my body is doing! I've found it interesting so far, but am still far from understanding my monthly cycle. After almost 15 years on BC...I think I have some catching up to do in the O'ing department!

Fortunately I found a fantastic group of women on the bump that have helped me with my silly questions, and entertained me endlessly as my DH and I begin this process.

I didn't think it would be easy...but I never knew how much I would need to learn in order to have a baby of my own!

Not sure how often I will be on here...just when I feel like sharing or rambling!

<3 K